My Eating Problems & Advice ♡

Hi everyone and welcome back!

This month's post is a little different to my usual recommendations because I've seen a lot of people having trouble with eating and their relationship with food. So, I want to tell you guys my story and give a bit of advice on how to have a good relationship with eating and food.

(Disclaimer: I was never diagnosed or treated for an ED [eating disorder] so I can't give you any professional advice, only advice from my own experience.)

(Disclaimer 2.0: I also have a high metabolism so my body has always been able to burn off food fast, I like to snack often and eat small meals, however, this doesn't work for everyone. You need to figure out what's right for you.)

(Disclaimer 2.1: I'm 5ft 1 (154cm) so I'm very petite. I also have dietary requirements which I'll explain below.)

Firstly, let's have a brief introduction. I've always been skinny, since I can remember I've been more skin and bone than anything else. I have zero fat on my body. Including my boobs (what boobs?!). My relationship with food was very neutral when I was little. I was picky and mainly ate home food and packed lunches. If I went out to a restaurant I'd only eat the kids menu up until I was about 13. My family never had a problem with that, we joked that I had a small appetite but could drink anyone under the table (with juice obvs, I was under 18!).

Age 16. Weighing 6.2 st (39kg)

Let's fast forward a few years. So I was 16 and at secondary (high) school. I was self conscious as my friends and I were getting more into fashion and caring about what we looked like. Some of my friends had boyfriends and we're beginning to work out at the gym and eat less sweets, chocolate, artificial sugars and much less  of the general crap you eat as a teen.

Me on the left aged 17.
I weighed 6.5 st (41kg)

Around this time I found out that I was gluten intolerant and so my diet began to change drastically. My school didn't really cater for allergies and neither did restaurants. Super markets had very basic gluten free options and I found myself being less interested in food. A few of the girls at school bullied each other about their weight. A girl became anorexic. I started to worry that I was fat. (I was not.) I began to stop eating. I used to stick post it notes in my school work and on my desk in class telling me not to eat. I went from 7.5 st (48kg) to 6.1 st (39kg) in the space of a year.

In the next few months, I became completely obsessed with my weight. I kept thinking I was too fat. I craved the attention of people saying I was too skinny. I loved being able to see my collar bones, having a gap between my thighs. I liked being able to see my ribs. The need to be thinner and thinner was ruining my life but I couldn't see it. My friends would comment on that fact that I used to skip meals or eat just salads. I became uncomfortable eating around people because of it and tended to skip even more meals at lunch, saying I felt sick or tired.

I also got very involved with Tumblr, the obsession with bones and being skinny. The dark side of the Internet as it were. I used to chat to girls and guys online and we'd encourage each other not to eat. We were called "Ana Buddies".

Age 18. Weighing 6.6st (42kg)

Although I wasn't concerned at the time, I found myself tired, drained of energy and sleepy. I got mood swings, my skin was lanky and my hair was greasy. My body hated what I was doing to it and I couldn't stop.

Around the age of 17, I had some unrelated health issues. I lost more weight and began to get depressed. I used to binge and then starve, a technique that is often used when people are depressed. I began to cry a lot.

After I turned 18, I began to get healthier and more mentally stable, however I still struggled with food. Since I'd been obsessed with my weight for two years, it was really hard to break the habit. Whenever I ate something carby or fatty or a treat, I'd feel guilty, like I didn't deserve to eat it. It got better as I spent less time thinking about food and more time I spent finding new hobbies.

Age 19. Weighing 7 st (44kg)

I relapsed a year later when I got a job that provided me with little to no food breaks. I'd just starve myself for the day and binge in the evening. As I was home more, my family made sure I had a good meal at least once a day but I found myself buying smaller dress sizes. For the first time since I'd started to become obsessed, I was disappointed with myself. I wanted to be healthy and not keep buying smaller clothes.

From then to now, I've been eating much better. I still have bad days or bad weeks but as I live on my own, I find there's no one to tell me I look too skinny. I find myself wanting to be a healthy weight rather than just skinny. However, I'm not "cured". I still have that little voice at the back of my min that tells me I'm too fat. Now it's easier to shut it out more often.


So now you've read the story, I'm going to tell you some advice I picked up along the way.

Age 20. Weighing 7.5st (48kg)

1. Find a different obsession. Some people count calories, some starve. Some binge, some puke. Find something else to become obsessed with. Usually people who struggle with eating problems lack control in other aspects of their lives. Find that control. Whether you become obsessed with painting or reading or the gym, it doesn't matter, just find something unrelated to food to get into and fill up your time.

2. Listen to your body. If your tummy is grumbling then eat something. If you're feeling bloated then have a lie down. Don't punish your body for its natural functions.

3. Drink water. I cannot emphasise this enough, not only will you feel more full (rather than snacking all the time) but the average person won't drink enough water per day and you need to stay hydrated. You'll feel much healthier and it will benefit your body and skin too!

4. Let yourself have a treat. Whether it be a chocolate bar or a scoop of ice cream, let yourself have a small treat because you deserve it. BUT, don't binge it. I've found that having no control and binging a whole tub of ice cream doesn't benefit you in any way and it tricks you into thinking you're not allowed treats. Small rewards ever so often makes you feel good.

5. Don't let people tell you how to eat. YOU know what YOU need to eat to live healthily and happily. Don't let someone tell you that you should eat more carbs or less veggies. It's your body and your life. Live it the way you want to.

Age 21. Weighing 7.5 st (48kg) and feeling
healthy.

6. Find someone who eats healthily and ask for advice. Having friends or acquaintances who eat properly makes the world of difference. They can introduce you to new recipes, help you snack healthily and just encourage you to eat better.

7. Avoid "feeders". Feeders are people who feel guilty for eating something so they'll encourage you to eat it and then feel almost happy that you ate something that's considered unhealthy to them. AVOID these people at all costs. They mess with your mind set and make you feel worse about yourself. Just don't be around these people.

8. Find a goal. If you can set yourself a goal weight or a goal "look" then do it. Be realistic with yourself. Then stick to a routine everyday, if you had the motivation to lose the weight then you can put it back on.

9. Set an eating schedule. You may not be able to stick to it all the time but it will help you. Set times for when you should to eat, there are apps which can help you set timers on your phone so you remember to eat. Soon you'll fall into a routine and just eat naturally but it's definitely worth finding a planner to help you with the first few months.

10. Please seek help. Whether its from a friend, a family member or someone anonymous, if you feel like you can't do this on your own then ask for help. There is no shame in seeking advice or help and anyone who makes you feel guilty for asking for help isn't worth it. DROP THEM.

Me last summer. Age 20 and loving my body.
Weighing 7.5 st (48kg) and feeling gorgeous.

I'm pretty happy with the way I look, I still have bad times but the good definitely outweigh the bad. I'm happy to stand in a swimming costume and feel cute.

I hope this blog post helped you or even if not you then someone you know. Don't forget to look out for yourself and others!

Stay beautiful my loves!!

Beffy xo ♡

Spring Skin & Hair Care Must-Haves ♡

Hello everyone and welcome back to March's blog post!! ♡

Today I'm going to discuss some cool products as Spring is just around the corner!

Firstly, is the Anatomical Grab Your Melons shower gel. This is in partnership with Coppafeel which is a great company who spread awareness for breast cancer. I got this shower gel in a Birchbox and I love it. It smells great and fresh and lasts really well! It's only £1.50 from Birchbox (you can buy it here) plus, it encourages you to check your ladies for any suspicious lumps while lathering it on your body so you smell delicious!

As some of you may know, I damaged my hair a couple of years ago with bleach and if you haven't seen the video then you can watch it here. So, I was always searching for good products to soften my hair. I knew it wasn't going to be repaired so I didn't think it was worth spending a lot of money on a product when all I had to do was make my hair bearable while I waited for it to grow out. I tried a lot of products and I'd honestly 100% swear by the Paul Mitchell Leave In Conditioner. It smells AH-MAZING! I love it and it makes my hair so soft.


It's very simple to use. I'd wash my hair normally with shampoo and conditioner and then pop some on my ends and any dry patches after I'd towel dried my hair. I'd rub it in and then leave my hair to dry naturally. It works wonders for dry or damaged hair honestly! Its a little expensive but I found it in the States and it was much cheaper. For UK readers, you can find it here at the price of £14.50.


So the next product is a great, all natural face wash which I use a few times each week. It's the Balance Me Pure Skin Face Wash. It's super smooth and the smell is weirdly compelling! I tend to use it in the morning to wash off all the dead skin and oils from the night before. It just makes me feel so fresh and my skin is so soft after! Definitely worth £16! You can check it here. 

On the topic of skin, I've recently bought a Vitamin C serum by Nutrient Wise. It was sent to me as free item and I'm always skeptical about free stuff. As some of you might already know, I have THE most sensitive, combo, breakout prone skin and it sucks. 

So, I've been using this serum at night and it's working pretty well. My skin feels soft and usually when I wake up, it's very oily but this seems to quench the oil without making my skin dry. The only downside is that it has some sort of fish in the ingredients and so the smell isn't fab, and definitely can be off putting when you're rubbing it into your nose! But I really do like this, you can find it here.

Lastly, is a something that no one really talks about... FOOT CREAM! So some people have a weird obsession with feet while others are absolutely repulsed by the sight of a toe! However you feel, looking after your feet is important. They definitely go through a lot, and we all use hand cream right? So why not foot cream? 

The one that I love is the Soap and Glory Heel Genius cream which is SUPER soft and gets rid of those nasty cracks on your heels. It soothes my skin so I don't feel embarrassed wearing sandals or flip flops in the summer. It's time to start looking after your feet now so that, in the summer they look gorgeous. Plus it wasn't too expensive at £5.50 and you only need a TINY bit for your whole foot. You can find it here.

Okay, so that's it for March's post. I hope you enjoyed it! Comment if you like any of these products or would like to try them!

Until the next post,

Beffy xo ♡

Beauty Advice To My Teen Self ♡

Hey everyone and welcome back! ♡

This is a slightly different blog post because as a teenager I wasn't very good at looking after my skin. Growing up, you tend to push away skincare and cake on foundation. Maybe you exfoliate once in a blue moon and you wash your face a few times a week. So, this is a little note to younger me who never really looked after her skin a lot.

(Side note: be ready to see fetus photos of me and laugh!)


Firstly, I really had great skin growing up, until I was about 12. I had minor cystic acne for about 6 years and I tried lots of different faces washes, antibiotics and scrubs to help it. Nothing worked so when I was 17, I was put on Roaccutane. If you don't know what that is then I made a video on it and you can watch it here.

This was my minor cystic acne which I had for
most of my teen years.

While my skin flared up and I had severe acne for about 6 months, I learnt a lot about finding the right moisturisers and keeping my skin hydrated as the pills dried it out. I found a few good products but, as a teen, I always went with cheap products rather than expensive and worth it. Now, don't get me wrong, drug store stuff can be amazing, but you have to find the right product for your skin, you can't just pick any old one and hope it helps.

Anyway, if you have severe acne then definitely watch my video because I recommend a few good moisturisers and lip balms.

Now onto the things I wish I didn't do as a teen (oh gosh, this is gonna be full of regret!).

This was when my skin was getting better but was
still very acne ridden.

Firstly, here's a common misconception which has been influenced by the film Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. Can you guess where I'm going with this?

VASELINE ON EYELASHES!

I used to religiously put vaseline on my eyelashes when I was about 13, with high hopes that they would grow. WRONG! Vaseline is so bad for your eyes, it clogs up the sensitive pores around your eyes and will leave you with what looks like under the skin spots but you can't get rid of them.

For about 2 years, I constantly put vaseline on my eyelashes, every night, until I Googled it and found out it was a bad idea. The skin around my eyes is so thin and Vaseline is very thick and greasy. I then realised I had those little bumps around my eyes (they're called milia) and I tried to figure out how to get rid of them. In the end I think they went away on their own, but after that I never put Vaseline near my eyes again.

Next is not squeezing your spots. OMG! This is the worst thing ever, I used to squeeze a lot because it was tempting right? When you see a spot come to a head you're like yes, I wanna squeeze it! NO NO NO! It's so bad for your skin. My skin scars badly, especially my face, because the skin is SO thin and sensitive, so squeezing spots is a no no.

If you feel tempted then put some cream on it, I use Sudocrem because it dries the spot out. It'll come to a head and fall out without irritating or damaging your skin. If you're going out and you don't want to walk out with blobs of white cream all over your face then you can find some clear gels/ spot wands which will help. (My favourite one was a witch hazel and tea tree spot wand by Boots, you can check it out here.)

I was about 15 here and you can see the
redness of my skin.

Another misconception is, putting toothpaste on spots. I remember people at school telling me this as it "hands down" worked for them because the toothpaste dried out the spots. Please don't do this, toothpaste is for your mouth and not your spots. Again, the sensitive skin on your face will not like toothpaste being smeared onto it.

So along the same point, you need to listen to your skin. If it feels dry, give it a bit extra moisturiser. If it's feeling rough, exfoliate it. Just listen to what it wants, skin changes depending on seasons, foods, hormones, environment and so many others variables. So you need to listen to it in order to achieve the best looking skin.

As a teen one of my worst habits was chewing my lips. I wish I could tell my teen self not to do that because my early 20s self now has the worst lips, they're so dry and cracked and bleed a lot.

I honestly should have stopped chewing them and put lip balm on everyday because it would have helped so much in the long run. Now, I apply lip balm all the time, scrub them and try harder to look after them generally. Remember, no one wants to kiss chapped lips (unless you're into that of course...).

Lastly, WASH YOUR HAIR! As a teen I used to either wash my hair everyday or didn't wash it for a week. Those are both terrible habits. Washing too often strips your hair of all the essential oils that help your hair and scalp stay healthy. Not washing for a week, well that's just grim isn't it?

I used to dye my hair a lot, especially when I was about 17 up until I was 19 and washing your hair too often made the dye fade so I used to avoid washing it at all costs. That's so so so, gross and I can't believe I used to do that. (I did use dry shampoo though!)

Now I wash it every other day or every 2, and I use dry shampoo or translucent powder when it looks a bit oily. (I'm planning on doing a night routine video on my YouTube channel so keep your eyes peeled for that).

Also, I wasn't as bad at this (thank God!) but, my friends were. Getting you hair cut often. It's much better to get a haircut every 10-14 weeks depending on how long your hair is. It's going to benefit your hair so much and it'll also help you when it comes to styling! Honestly, it's really gross and bad for your hair not to cut it, you're just gonna get split ends that spread like wildfire and ruin your hair and generally just don't behave.

And here is my skin now! BLEMISH FREEEE! (Obviously, I am
wearing a bit of makeup but you get the idea!)

So, to end this post, it's very easy to be lazy with your skin when you're young, thinking:

"Oh it's fine I have teenage skin and it's healthy". BUT, it is really important to look after it even now because you'll 100% regret it when you're older!


Until next time,

Beffy xo

Skincare for Winter ♡

Hi everyone! I hope you all had a great Christmas and welcome to the first post of 2018!

So in this post, I wanna talk about looking after your skin in the winter. For me, the winter is a blessing and also a sin for my skin. Chapped lips, dry skin and nose shiny noses are a few of the problems I encounter in the cold months of the year. However, my skin can behave pretty well in the colder months, so these are a few of my favourite products for when my skin isn't behaving.

To start off, I have found a great night moisturiser which is the answer to your prayers if you have oily/ combination skin. It was SO cheap (£1.50) and from The Body Shop which I would highly recommend as a vegan, cruelty free shop plus most of their products smell delicious enough to eat (don't eat them though!). It's made from seaweed which makes it have a slightly odd smell (nothing too strong thank God) and the bottle is pretty small so it lasts only a few weeks. However, that can be overlooked for how well it works on combo skin. It's a night treatment and it's more of a gel type liquid in a little pump bottle but it just stops your face feeling super oily. I love it and as someone who suffers from pretty oily and blemish prone skin, it means I don't wake up all oily and feeling gross. I'm afraid I can't find it online but you might be able to find it in stores!


So still on the topic of skin, I've found a pretty good alternative to an average moisturiser. Combined with the night treatment, I use a Snail Bee High Content Essence in the morning after toning to keep my skin from being oily but also keeps an even skin tone. I was hesitant about buying this serum as it was £16 but, the Korean beauty shop I visited, swore by it. I can honestly say, after using it for just over a month that it is REALLY good. I did use it at night too but as it was so expensive, I didn't want to waste it, plus I loveeee my seaweed moisturiser. For someone who has had problematic skin for most of my teen life, I never swear by products because I nearly always jinx it but, this one is honestly really great. It moisturises without being really greasy and prevents shine which is such a bonus. I didn't realise how well it worked until I didn't use it for a few days and found my skin was bumpy and oily again. I would recommend this to anyone with oily, combo skin! You can find on Amazon here.



Next, and still on face products is, a really good exfoliator. I used to have terrible acne and as a result, it has left with me with some scars on my cheeks. I learnt that exfoliating is one of the best methods for acne scars as it helps remove the scarred layers of skin and help new skin grow. I've got pretty sensitive skin too, so I've tried out a lot of exfoliators which end up too harsh or bring my skin out in a rash. However, this one from Boots is the best. It has witch hazel and tea tree which makes your skin super smooth and doesn't dry it out a lot. It has a creamy texture which is very soft so it doesn't really isn't abrasive at all. I use it about once a week, usually after I've worn a lot of makeup and my skin has gone from really quite scarred to pretty smooth and even! Check it out here.


Onto those "nashers" (teeth for people who aren't familiar with that term) now, which are REALLY important. Personally, I drink a lot of tea and coffee so my teeth are slightly yellow. I used to have braces and after they were taken off, I realised how much I need to look after my teeth. Teeth are something that most people take for granted unless you've got really bad teeth or had braces. I've been trying to whiten them recently and I've been using Blanx toothpaste for about 3 weeks now, and it has made a pretty good difference. Keeping them healthy is one thing, but keeping them white is also important. Blanx was a bit on the steep side being nearly £6 from Boots but I think it's worth it if you want a whitening toothpaste that doesn't completely ruin your enamel and especially if you don't want to pay a fortune for whitening products.

Still on the topic on mouths, I've found a pretty great lip balm which I got for free but is actually £12. *cries at the price* So as you may know already from my previous posts and my YouTube videos, I have THE worst lips most of the time. They're so chapped and dry and if I don't use lip balm, they get so bad that they split! So, I'm always searching for a good lip balm to smooth those chapped babies. This one is Dr Lipp's Nipple Balm (I know I thought it was for nips too and was very confused!), it's kinda like a lip mask and so is very thick and gooey but works a treat, especially in bad weather. Now, I know that £12 is on the pretty pricy size but, I have seen it floating around TK Maxx for about £6 which is more reasonable price as it is a tiny, weeny tube. Having said that, it has lasted me about 6 months as I don't use it everyday and I've still got some left. You can find it for it's full price here.


So, I hope you enjoyed this post all about winter skin care, don't forget to tell me what your favourite products are!

Until next time,

Beffy xo ♡